Lilypie

Lots of mommy blogs have those little Lilypie counters that show how long until their due dates or how old their kids are. I think they're cute. FB laughs at me, but then, he likes those little white stick figures people put on the backs of their vans, while I think they're tacky as all hell.

I checked out the Lilypie site and played around with the counters, hoping I'll have a chance to use one soon. Some of the sliders are babies dressed as flowers, which would be perfect for Snapdragon.

I didn't realize that Lilypie had other counters — some of them are a little creepier. Do people really want to publicize how long they've been waiting to adopt or trying to conceive? It seems like it would be torture to see the days and weeks ticking away if you wanted to adopt or conceive but couldn't.

One in particular made me laugh out loud. This is the icon for one of the "Trying to Conceive" counters:

I suppose if you look closely, you can see that the bunny's tail is over to the right, but at first glance, it's a little . . . on the nose. Maybe I'll get one of those counters after all, just so I can put some bunny porn on this blog.

Subaru Commercial

I hate commercials and, because I have a TiVo, I can usually avoid them. The only time I'm a sitting duck is at the gym, where reruns of ER help me through my cardio.

The worst offenders when it comes to dumb/formulaic/offensive ads are generally car companies, beer companies, and Burger King. So, imagine my surprise when I saw a Subaru ad that was not only true to life, but actually made me slightly more likely to consider buying a Subaru.

The ad opens with a teenage boy who says something along the lines of, "I'm the youngest, so I always get hand-me-downs." Then, it shows the boy with many discarded items — a bike with pink streamers, an old boombox, an ancient computer — that he modifies and uses cheerfully. At the end, he says, "Now, I don't mind" as another young man tosses him the keys to a gently-used Subaru. The line at the end is something about Subarus lasting.

Maybe they're running this ad because of the state of the economy. Maybe their ad agency hired someone from a large family. I don't know how they came up with this ad, but I found that it spoke to my experience exactly. This is precisely how my family deals with expensive items like graphing calculators, computers, and cars. The old white Buick that was originally my grandfather's went to my dad, then to me, then to my two younger brothers before it died for good. Since FB has a good tech job, we always have good, new-ish laptops, and my siblings (and dad) have been the recipients of our Macs whenever we upgrade.

Usually, car commercials show the product on a mountaintop or speeding through the desert — I just tune them out. This one captured how my family actually uses things. Good job, Subaru. The next time I'm in the market, I'll keep you in mind.

Confidence

In all this baby planning, I am assuming that I will be able to get pregnant within a few months of trying. I know that that is not necessarily going to be the case.

I have several factors in my favor — I'm 25, in good health, and my mother is a champ at the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing (5 kids, 5 no-med births). Still, there's no guarantee that I'll be able to conceive at the drop of a hat. I've read enough blogs by hopeful women who have been frustrated by their inability to conceive or a carry a child to term to know that the road is not always smooth.

My parents have one sister and one brother apiece. Both of my aunts had devastating infertility issues. After years of disappointment and commiseration, Aunt M, Aunt D, and their husbands decided to adopt. Both couples met with an agency in South America and were matched with children: Aunt M with a baby girl, Aunt D with two siblings — a baby and a toddler.

Aunt M and Uncle R went through with the adoption and brought home my cousin. Two years later, *surprise* Aunt M was pregnant and had a second daughter. It's always been a point of humor in our family — Aunt M's first daughter fits right in with our short, dark, Italian family looks-wise, while her little sister takes after her tall, blond, blue-eyed dad. Aunt M revels in her daughters and Uncle R is the ultimate soccer dad. They are supremely happy, but they didn't get there easily.

Aunt D and Uncle J backed out at the last moment. I was a child at the time, but I've heard that his family disapproved of adoption in general and of adopting Latino children in particular. Their story has not been so happy.

I try to think happy thoughts and plan for an easy conception and a healthy child. I plan for the best, but I really have all my fingers and toes crossed. If I were a praying person, I'd pray.

One thing I must say: If FB and I turn out to be infertile, I'll be pissed off that I took the Pill all those years.

Eldest

I come from a big family. Not converted-schoolbus-for-trips-to-the-grocery-store big, but larger than normal: two parents, five kids, and a substantial menagerie.

I'm the first-born of five siblings:

• me, age 25
• brother BJ, age 23
• brother G, age 20
• brother W, age 17
• sister B, age 13

I always loved being part of a large family because our house was always humming with activity and no one ever lacked for playmates, sparring partners, or rides to school. We never had any money, but I didn't really realize I was missing out on anything. Besides, I always had a baby to play with or a younger sibling who wanted a Harry Potter book read aloud, so I was perfectly happy.

As I take my first steps toward starting my own family, I wonder whether I will be able to give them the sibling experience I had. I've always assumed that I'd have at least three children, but that was before I contemplated the reality of having to balance pregnancies with work and caring for more than one child at a time. I'm looking forward to a first pregnancy, but how do you do it when you're juggling a two-year-old and a kindergartener? Maybe there's a reason why BJ and I were born almost exactly two years apart, but the gap widened with each subsequent sibling . . .

In any event, Snapdragon will be our eldest child. Not only that — s/he will be the first grandchild on both sides of the family. I do feel a little bad about trying to bring a baby into a babyless family. Barring a catastrophic failure of latex, little Snapdragon will not have any cousins anytime soon. I'll just have to hope that the adoring attentions of a phalanx of adults will fill that void.

Two Packs Left

I am not pregnant.

I have been on the Pill since I was 18 years old — seven full years this summer. I have two packs left, which will carry me through August and then . . .

I don't know how my body will react to the sudden withdrawal of its beloved hormone candies, but I can guess. The Pill has lessened my cramps, bleeding, headaches, and many of the other joys of female biology, so I can only assume that they will return in full force when I am Pill-less.

Of course, my goal in ceasing this hormone regimen is the ultimate in biological adventures. I understand that pregnant women look back on their pre-Pill cramps with fondness.

Two more packs and then,

the adventure.

Why Snapdragon?

A few years ago, FB and I discussed the relative merits of flower names over frozen yogurt outside of Willow Street Pizza. Rose was too Golden Girls, Lily too common, Iris too punk.

As we widened the scope of discussion — Dahlia? Lavender? Pansy? — we dissolved into giggles and one-upmanship. From the plausible (Azalea, Zinnia) to the unwieldy (Chrysanthemum, Rhododendron) to the ridiculous (Venus Flytrap, Tuberose), we spiraled out of control until I choked out, "Snapdragon."

Have you ever had frozen yogurt shoot out of your nose?

From then on, our hypothetical future child has always been called Snapdragon. S/he can only hope that our enthusiasm for the name wanes sometime before we sign her/his birth certificate.

Dad and Me