FB and I have decided that every Friday from now until Snapdragon comes will be Date Night. Whether we go out for dinner, see a movie, or just stay in and snuggle, we will protect Friday nights for hanging out together.
Last week, we had a lovely, multi-course dinner at a seafood restaurant. Tonight, we're planning on meeting at a pub and then coming home to some Netflix and Ben & Jerry's.
I am trying to savor this one-on-one time while it's relatively easy to go out.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Give Me Red!
I'm feeling much better than I was earlier in the week. I only had one day of real nausea and it never got too bad. I have started to have some acid reflux, which is new, but not terrible.
Over the past week, my cravings have taken a strange turn. From 7-9 weeks, I was craving rich things: mashed potatoes, steak, chocolate, cheese, etc. Now, I only want RED things: cranberry or pomegranate juice, red Jell-O, Powerade, Starburst, strawberries, plums, etc.
I suppose that consuming large quantities of fruit, fruit juices and artificially fruit-flavored things is probably not helping the acid reflux situation, but what can you do?
Over the past week, my cravings have taken a strange turn. From 7-9 weeks, I was craving rich things: mashed potatoes, steak, chocolate, cheese, etc. Now, I only want RED things: cranberry or pomegranate juice, red Jell-O, Powerade, Starburst, strawberries, plums, etc.
I suppose that consuming large quantities of fruit, fruit juices and artificially fruit-flavored things is probably not helping the acid reflux situation, but what can you do?
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
In the Womb
FB and I just watched the National Geographic documentary In the Womb. Meh. It was not great.
Some of the footage was interesting, particularly the 3-D and 4-D scans, but the whole thing dragged on a bit. The segment on the second trimester was especially protracted.
I wish there had been more context. For the most part, the narration played over the same dozen computer-animated clips over and over again, without offering a lot of comparative information. The most interesting parts were when the camera ventured outside the womb to show an in-utero surgical procedure or . . . well, that was really the only time. There were 1,000 shots of pregnant women's abdomens — strangely, every woman in this movie wears midriff-baring shirts for the duration of her pregnancy — but those clips were generally static and context-free.
I would have liked to see more charts and graphs, more discussion of complications, and more discussion of worldwide practices and statistics. I suppose they wanted to focus on the "typical" development of a single fetus, but it was frustratingly vague and general. The narrator didn't even offer basic information like how much the baby weighed at birth, which took away from the particular birth story. If they wanted to do general development, they should have included more statistics and variations; if they wanted to showcase a particular case as typical, they should have given the specific details.
In all, it was unsatisfying. And long (90 minutes). And I found the weird blue, zappy-sounding neuron theme really unsettling.
Some of the footage was interesting, particularly the 3-D and 4-D scans, but the whole thing dragged on a bit. The segment on the second trimester was especially protracted.
I wish there had been more context. For the most part, the narration played over the same dozen computer-animated clips over and over again, without offering a lot of comparative information. The most interesting parts were when the camera ventured outside the womb to show an in-utero surgical procedure or . . . well, that was really the only time. There were 1,000 shots of pregnant women's abdomens — strangely, every woman in this movie wears midriff-baring shirts for the duration of her pregnancy — but those clips were generally static and context-free.
I would have liked to see more charts and graphs, more discussion of complications, and more discussion of worldwide practices and statistics. I suppose they wanted to focus on the "typical" development of a single fetus, but it was frustratingly vague and general. The narrator didn't even offer basic information like how much the baby weighed at birth, which took away from the particular birth story. If they wanted to do general development, they should have included more statistics and variations; if they wanted to showcase a particular case as typical, they should have given the specific details.
In all, it was unsatisfying. And long (90 minutes). And I found the weird blue, zappy-sounding neuron theme really unsettling.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Feeling Pukey
These past 24 hours have seen my first real brush with pregnancy-related stomach troubles. There has been no actual vomiting, just a general feeling of unease and tepid appetite. It's not debilitating, but it is annoying.
My sympathies go out to all the pregnant ladies out there who have been dealing with this bullshit for a month or more.
My sympathies go out to all the pregnant ladies out there who have been dealing with this bullshit for a month or more.
16 and Pregnant
Ok, let's be honest: I watch 16 and Pregnant. I have my TiVo set up to catch it so that I won't miss an episode if I go to bed at 8:00.
I find this show incredibly depressing/infuriating, and I can only hope that teenagers who watch it are getting the same message I am: your expectations for your deadbeat boyfriend are totally unreasonable. I don't think it glamorizes teen pregnancy at all.
Anyway, I happened across an article about the show that showcased a novel criticism. Jami Quesenberry, mother of eight, says of 16 and Pregnant:
I find this show incredibly depressing/infuriating, and I can only hope that teenagers who watch it are getting the same message I am: your expectations for your deadbeat boyfriend are totally unreasonable. I don't think it glamorizes teen pregnancy at all.
Anyway, I happened across an article about the show that showcased a novel criticism. Jami Quesenberry, mother of eight, says of 16 and Pregnant:
I found those shows so depressing that I am afraid they may encourage abortion . . . The one girl who responsibly decided to put her baby up for adoption, at least in the episode I watched of ‘Teen Mom,’ was still depressed with her decision after five months . . . The other mothers [on the show] had lives that seemed stifling . . . If a teen watched that show, she may decide to terminate her pregnancy rather than go through what these teens are going through.Well played, madam. Quesenberry has blocked the show in her home, presumably so that her eight children don't get the wrong idea about teenage pregnancy being all depressing and shit.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Name List
I have been suggesting baby names to FB since long before Snapdragon was conceived. Some have been offered in jest, but others are serious attempts to gauge his naming style.
In general, he has not been very excited about coming up with names of his own, content to accept or reject names that I offer. I told him that he will need to come up with his own name list at some point, but he is of the opinion that he should wait until we know the sex before he puts in too much effort. I've tried to convince him that there's no time like the present (the baby might be shy! the ultrasound tech could be wrong! if you make 2 lists now, you can reuse the other one for Snapdragon 2.0!) but to no avail.
Frankly, I cannot wait another 8-10 weeks to make my lists. I'll need some time to live with names to make sure that I can love the same name for seven months straight. My tastes fluctuate.
So here are my Top 5 lists, as they stand at the moment, with explanations, nicknames, etc. Anyone who is reading this blog better chime in and tell me what they think, since FB isn't really ready to engage on this subject yet. The first-name, middle-name combos are not set in stone — they can be shuffled around.
Girls:
1. Amalia Pasqualina (nickname Mollie)
pro: middle name honoring my Papa, suitably Italian with our Anglo last name, neither name popular (though Amalia is close to Amelia, which is very popular), super cute nickname
con: very girly, trouble pronouncing first name (I say ah-MOLL-ee-ah, others might say ah-mah-LEE-a) Pasqualina is weird to English-speakers, it's a lot of name
2. Una DeAngelis (no nickname)
pro: middle name honors my family, I LOVE Una, easily pronounced in many languages, unusual, but not baffling
con: rhymes with tuna, somewhat unusual, no nickname potential if she really hates it
3. Susanna DeAngelis (nickname Una)
pro: I'm not kidding when I say that Una is my favorite name at the moment, I like Susanna but not Sue or Susie (Zuzu is ok), Susanna was a top 10 name in 1710 but it's not a top 1,000 name now
con: Una isn't the most obvious nickname for Susanna, there's a lot of nasal short a sound with this combo
4. Ellen Mathilde (nickname Nell)
pro: Ellen honors many women in my family (including my mother, Mary Ellen, and her grandmother, Nell), Pete has a whole line of Mathildes in his family and I got rather attached to them after doing their family tree this past Christmas, both Ellen and Nell are easy to spell/pronounce
con: not Italian, Mathilde is an unusual spelling of Matilda, could replace Mathilde with Modestina (my adorable great-grandmother's unfortunate name)
5. Cecily, Harriet (nn Hattie), Lydia, Luna, Philippa (nn Pippa)
pro: I like these names
con: they are not family names and I can't really find a way to justify them other than I think that they are cute
Boys:
1. Benjamin Pasquale (nickname Ben)
pro: my grandfathers are Benjamin and Pasquale, there have been 4 generations of Benjamins in my family (grandfathers and grandsons — it skips generations), yet it is the most palatable name in a family of Manfredos, Armands, and Ilarios, Ben seems like a sturdy name
con: I have a brother named Ben, so they'd be Big Ben and Little Ben forever
2. Benjamin Conrad (nickname Ben)
pro: see above, Conrad is FB's grandfather's name
con: see above, I don't like Conrad very much
3. David Americo (nickname Dave, I guess)
pro: David is one of only two names that is in both of our families (the other is Armand), Americo is my great-grandfather's name (my dad, Mark, was named after him while my grandparents were trying to assimilate)
con: it's ok I guess, FB's brother's name is Dave (Big Dave/Little Dave), I like Americo better than I like David
4. Walton Pasquale (nickname Walt)
pro: I've always liked the name Walter, but FB's middle name is Walton, which is close enough, middle name honors my grandfather
con: it sounds pretty WASPy, which it is
5. Oliver Pasquale
pro: I like both of those names, FB's great-great-etc. grandfather, Oliver Fiske, died in the Revolutionary War, thus making our kids eligible to join the DAR
con: Oliver is pretty popular in our neck of the woods, if I had an Olly, we could never have a Mollie
That's where I am right now. There are other names that I like and could learn to love, but this is what I have at the moment.
What say you?
In general, he has not been very excited about coming up with names of his own, content to accept or reject names that I offer. I told him that he will need to come up with his own name list at some point, but he is of the opinion that he should wait until we know the sex before he puts in too much effort. I've tried to convince him that there's no time like the present (the baby might be shy! the ultrasound tech could be wrong! if you make 2 lists now, you can reuse the other one for Snapdragon 2.0!) but to no avail.
Frankly, I cannot wait another 8-10 weeks to make my lists. I'll need some time to live with names to make sure that I can love the same name for seven months straight. My tastes fluctuate.
So here are my Top 5 lists, as they stand at the moment, with explanations, nicknames, etc. Anyone who is reading this blog better chime in and tell me what they think, since FB isn't really ready to engage on this subject yet. The first-name, middle-name combos are not set in stone — they can be shuffled around.
Girls:
1. Amalia Pasqualina (nickname Mollie)
pro: middle name honoring my Papa, suitably Italian with our Anglo last name, neither name popular (though Amalia is close to Amelia, which is very popular), super cute nickname
con: very girly, trouble pronouncing first name (I say ah-MOLL-ee-ah, others might say ah-mah-LEE-a) Pasqualina is weird to English-speakers, it's a lot of name
2. Una DeAngelis (no nickname)
pro: middle name honors my family, I LOVE Una, easily pronounced in many languages, unusual, but not baffling
con: rhymes with tuna, somewhat unusual, no nickname potential if she really hates it
3. Susanna DeAngelis (nickname Una)
pro: I'm not kidding when I say that Una is my favorite name at the moment, I like Susanna but not Sue or Susie (Zuzu is ok), Susanna was a top 10 name in 1710 but it's not a top 1,000 name now
con: Una isn't the most obvious nickname for Susanna, there's a lot of nasal short a sound with this combo
4. Ellen Mathilde (nickname Nell)
pro: Ellen honors many women in my family (including my mother, Mary Ellen, and her grandmother, Nell), Pete has a whole line of Mathildes in his family and I got rather attached to them after doing their family tree this past Christmas, both Ellen and Nell are easy to spell/pronounce
con: not Italian, Mathilde is an unusual spelling of Matilda, could replace Mathilde with Modestina (my adorable great-grandmother's unfortunate name)
5. Cecily, Harriet (nn Hattie), Lydia, Luna, Philippa (nn Pippa)
pro: I like these names
con: they are not family names and I can't really find a way to justify them other than I think that they are cute
Boys:
1. Benjamin Pasquale (nickname Ben)
pro: my grandfathers are Benjamin and Pasquale, there have been 4 generations of Benjamins in my family (grandfathers and grandsons — it skips generations), yet it is the most palatable name in a family of Manfredos, Armands, and Ilarios, Ben seems like a sturdy name
con: I have a brother named Ben, so they'd be Big Ben and Little Ben forever
2. Benjamin Conrad (nickname Ben)
pro: see above, Conrad is FB's grandfather's name
con: see above, I don't like Conrad very much
3. David Americo (nickname Dave, I guess)
pro: David is one of only two names that is in both of our families (the other is Armand), Americo is my great-grandfather's name (my dad, Mark, was named after him while my grandparents were trying to assimilate)
con: it's ok I guess, FB's brother's name is Dave (Big Dave/Little Dave), I like Americo better than I like David
4. Walton Pasquale (nickname Walt)
pro: I've always liked the name Walter, but FB's middle name is Walton, which is close enough, middle name honors my grandfather
con: it sounds pretty WASPy, which it is
5. Oliver Pasquale
pro: I like both of those names, FB's great-great-etc. grandfather, Oliver Fiske, died in the Revolutionary War, thus making our kids eligible to join the DAR
con: Oliver is pretty popular in our neck of the woods, if I had an Olly, we could never have a Mollie
That's where I am right now. There are other names that I like and could learn to love, but this is what I have at the moment.
What say you?
In Defense of Weddings
Recently, I happened across an article bemoaning the high cost of weddings. In general, I think that critics of expensive weddings make some good points — the median cost of a wedding in America is $17,500, people could use that money for other things, the wedding-industrial complex has lots of arbitrary "musts" designed to fleece consumers, we don't need no piece of paper from the city hall, etc. I certainly understand the appeal of eloping and then spending nearly 20k on a fabulous trip (that $ wouldn't buy you a garden shed in my city, so I won't say "or house").
Yet, I will speak in defense of spending serious money on a wedding.
When FB and I got married in 2007, we spent nearly $10,000 on our wedding and it was totally worth it. If I could live that day over again for a mere 10k, I would do it in a heartbeat.
We did not have a fancy wedding — we got married in the little church up the street from my aunt's house and had the reception in her back yard. I bought most of my flowers at Stop & Shop and cut many of the rest in my mom's and aunts' gardens. Another aunt made the invitations. I bought my dress for $110 off the rack at Macy's. The bridesmaids' dresses were $100 at the mall. We played music off of FB's iPod over a sound system borrowed from my uncle.
So where did all that money go?
We spent money on the things that would make the day great for our 150+ guests. We wanted to give our families and friends one wonderful day of enjoying one another and I think we succeeded in that.
About $1,000 went to cake. Rather than get an elaborate wedding cake, we bought about 30 cakes from our favorite bakery (Pastiche in Providence, RI) and had a cake buffet. Rather than choose one or two flavors, we ordered a bit of everything: cheesecake, carrot cake, lemon chiffon, chocolate, fruit tart, chocolate-raspberry torte, etc.:
Another $1,000 went to drinks: beer, wine, soda, water, and coffee. Three kegs of Sam Adams (lager, stout, and summer ale) took up a chunk of that, as did 2 or three cases of wine. There's a local soda maker up the street from my parents' house, so we got a dozen different flavors of soda in glass bottles. We filled some big tubs with ice and put pitchers on a table and people helped themselves.
About $3,000 went to food. My mother and aunts made vats of pasta salad and potato salad, piles of cookies, and vast fruit plates. The bulk of this money went to a friend-of-a-friend who is a BBQ competition champ — we hired him to bring his setup and make pulled pork, spare ribs, bbq chicken, and grilled vegetables:
An additional $1,500 went to two large canopies. It turned out to be a spectacular day, weather-wise, but you can never tell in New England. If it had been drizzly, we would have been very thankful that we had those tents, so I can't regret the money we spent on them.
About $2,000 went to the photographer. It was a big expense, but we treasure the pictures we have from that day. We had her take family portraits of all of the nuclear families and extended families, with everyone looking their best and all together in the same place. We gave those pictures as Christmas presents and everyone has them framed in their houses now.
There were other expenses here and there that made up the last little bit — church fees, gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsmen, a few hundred dollars on flowers, etc. In general, we didn't spend much on anything that wasn't directly related to making this a good party. I've been to plenty of un-fun weddings where I have eaten overcooked chicken and cardboard cake while attempting to avoid the dance floor, and I didn't think my family would appreciate enduring that on my behalf. Instead, we blew 10 grand on the best barbecue ever and it was awesome.
Perhaps I remember my wedding with affection because my beloved grandfather had a devastating stroke a few weeks later, so it was the last time we were really all together as a family. When I look back at the pictures, I see my mom talking to my mother-in-law's friends and my grandmothers eating lunch together while my high school friends play badminton with Pete's cousins and the younger kids splash in the pool. Both of our families are musically inclined and many people brought instruments, leading to an hours-long cross-family, friend-inclusive jam session. Everyone got to chat with everyone else and enjoy free beer and good food.
So, I suppose it's true that if we had eloped and saved that $10,000, we could have invested it and spent it on Snapdragon's college education in 18 years. But we wouldn't have had that day, and we would have been the poorer for it.
Yet, I will speak in defense of spending serious money on a wedding.
When FB and I got married in 2007, we spent nearly $10,000 on our wedding and it was totally worth it. If I could live that day over again for a mere 10k, I would do it in a heartbeat.
We did not have a fancy wedding — we got married in the little church up the street from my aunt's house and had the reception in her back yard. I bought most of my flowers at Stop & Shop and cut many of the rest in my mom's and aunts' gardens. Another aunt made the invitations. I bought my dress for $110 off the rack at Macy's. The bridesmaids' dresses were $100 at the mall. We played music off of FB's iPod over a sound system borrowed from my uncle.
So where did all that money go?
We spent money on the things that would make the day great for our 150+ guests. We wanted to give our families and friends one wonderful day of enjoying one another and I think we succeeded in that.
About $1,000 went to cake. Rather than get an elaborate wedding cake, we bought about 30 cakes from our favorite bakery (Pastiche in Providence, RI) and had a cake buffet. Rather than choose one or two flavors, we ordered a bit of everything: cheesecake, carrot cake, lemon chiffon, chocolate, fruit tart, chocolate-raspberry torte, etc.:
Another $1,000 went to drinks: beer, wine, soda, water, and coffee. Three kegs of Sam Adams (lager, stout, and summer ale) took up a chunk of that, as did 2 or three cases of wine. There's a local soda maker up the street from my parents' house, so we got a dozen different flavors of soda in glass bottles. We filled some big tubs with ice and put pitchers on a table and people helped themselves.
About $3,000 went to food. My mother and aunts made vats of pasta salad and potato salad, piles of cookies, and vast fruit plates. The bulk of this money went to a friend-of-a-friend who is a BBQ competition champ — we hired him to bring his setup and make pulled pork, spare ribs, bbq chicken, and grilled vegetables:
An additional $1,500 went to two large canopies. It turned out to be a spectacular day, weather-wise, but you can never tell in New England. If it had been drizzly, we would have been very thankful that we had those tents, so I can't regret the money we spent on them.
About $2,000 went to the photographer. It was a big expense, but we treasure the pictures we have from that day. We had her take family portraits of all of the nuclear families and extended families, with everyone looking their best and all together in the same place. We gave those pictures as Christmas presents and everyone has them framed in their houses now.
There were other expenses here and there that made up the last little bit — church fees, gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsmen, a few hundred dollars on flowers, etc. In general, we didn't spend much on anything that wasn't directly related to making this a good party. I've been to plenty of un-fun weddings where I have eaten overcooked chicken and cardboard cake while attempting to avoid the dance floor, and I didn't think my family would appreciate enduring that on my behalf. Instead, we blew 10 grand on the best barbecue ever and it was awesome.
Perhaps I remember my wedding with affection because my beloved grandfather had a devastating stroke a few weeks later, so it was the last time we were really all together as a family. When I look back at the pictures, I see my mom talking to my mother-in-law's friends and my grandmothers eating lunch together while my high school friends play badminton with Pete's cousins and the younger kids splash in the pool. Both of our families are musically inclined and many people brought instruments, leading to an hours-long cross-family, friend-inclusive jam session. Everyone got to chat with everyone else and enjoy free beer and good food.
So, I suppose it's true that if we had eloped and saved that $10,000, we could have invested it and spent it on Snapdragon's college education in 18 years. But we wouldn't have had that day, and we would have been the poorer for it.
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