Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Confidence

In all this baby planning, I am assuming that I will be able to get pregnant within a few months of trying. I know that that is not necessarily going to be the case.

I have several factors in my favor — I'm 25, in good health, and my mother is a champ at the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing (5 kids, 5 no-med births). Still, there's no guarantee that I'll be able to conceive at the drop of a hat. I've read enough blogs by hopeful women who have been frustrated by their inability to conceive or a carry a child to term to know that the road is not always smooth.

My parents have one sister and one brother apiece. Both of my aunts had devastating infertility issues. After years of disappointment and commiseration, Aunt M, Aunt D, and their husbands decided to adopt. Both couples met with an agency in South America and were matched with children: Aunt M with a baby girl, Aunt D with two siblings — a baby and a toddler.

Aunt M and Uncle R went through with the adoption and brought home my cousin. Two years later, *surprise* Aunt M was pregnant and had a second daughter. It's always been a point of humor in our family — Aunt M's first daughter fits right in with our short, dark, Italian family looks-wise, while her little sister takes after her tall, blond, blue-eyed dad. Aunt M revels in her daughters and Uncle R is the ultimate soccer dad. They are supremely happy, but they didn't get there easily.

Aunt D and Uncle J backed out at the last moment. I was a child at the time, but I've heard that his family disapproved of adoption in general and of adopting Latino children in particular. Their story has not been so happy.

I try to think happy thoughts and plan for an easy conception and a healthy child. I plan for the best, but I really have all my fingers and toes crossed. If I were a praying person, I'd pray.

One thing I must say: If FB and I turn out to be infertile, I'll be pissed off that I took the Pill all those years.

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