Last weekend, FB and I spent three whole days packing boxes, moving furniture, and getting the house ready for Snapdragon. This weekend, at FB's suggestion, we decided to get away and have some uninterrupted, no-work, alone time.
We drove up to Newburyport on Friday and spent a lovely weekend playing board games, walking by the water, and eating ice cream. I especially enjoyed the whirlpool bathtub in our hotel, which did wonders for my sore hips.
It was wonderful to have such a relaxing extended date. I love you, FB!
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Monday, June 7, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
California Trip
Last week, FB and I flew out to California to attend his brother's grad school graduation. We were there for a whole week, visiting friends in San Francisco and Seattle and spending lots of time with FB's family. Some highlights:
- Up until this point, I had not sent FB out for any strange foods at ungodly hours. Our flight left Boston at 7 Eastern and landed at 11 Pacific, meaning that all I had for dinner was airplane food, so I was starving by the time we got to our hotel. There was a McDonald's next to the hotel and even though I am not a big McD's fan, I was desperate. I sent FB out for hamburgers, but only the drive-thru was open, so he had to walk through the drive-thru lane. He was successful and now we have at least one cute husband-goes-above-and-beyond-for-pregnant-wife's-food story.
- We managed to keep Snapdragon's name a secret, despite my FB's mother's many inquiries. She accepted that we would not reveal the name, but still pressed us for the initials, the number of syllables, etc. The only clue we gave was that the first name is not in the top 1,000, but is in the top 20,000. We also realized that Snapdragon will have the same initials as FB's father, but that will be a nice surprise for the in-laws on her birthday.
- It was rainy and in the 50s the whole time we were in Berkeley. In May. We lived in the Bay Area for two years and it never rained except in March, so we packed inappropriately light clothes. We were able to get by with new Cal sweatshirts and every poncho Walgreens had to offer.
- My in-laws do not fly, so they took a cross-country train to California with their best friends, B and K. B and K are train enthusiasts and they all had a lovely time. However, B and K are not very adventurous eaters, so meals with them did not take advantage of the many wonderful food options on offer in Berkeley. At least that meant that I was never tempted by the sushi I love so dearly, but cannot have.
- We got to see several of our friends from when we lived in San Jose. T is getting married in August and I am bummed that I will not be able to go to her wedding, but glad that we got the chance to sample cake from her favorite bakery. L is pregnant too (about 12 weeks ahead of me), and most of our visit was at an ideal pregnant-lady pace: air-conditioned movie theatres and very short walks around Seattle.
- I did not enjoy the flights. I am not a good flier at the best of times and this was not the best of times. I feel huge and awkward, have trouble with temperature regulation, and have to pee all the time. These facts, combined with the fact that all four of the flights were more turbulent than average, made me fairly unhappy. I was glad to see my friends, but am very glad that I will not have to fly again in the foreseeable future.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Housebound in the Vast Northern Wasteland
FB's mother and father live in a crumbling, mid-sized city in the Vast Northern Wasteland. Their home is not inaccessible — they live minutes from a major highway — but it is remote. On a day with good weather, it takes me about 7 hours to drive there (FB does not drive).
We generally visit the VNW two or three times a year: once in the summer, for a week and a half over Christmas, and sometimes for an incidental event (wedding, funeral, etc.). FB's dad comes to visit us in the spring, but in the three years we have lived here, his mom has only visited us twice (once for a single afternoon).
She always has an excuse for not coming to see us. She doesn't travel at all between November and April (the weather might be bad), she can't find the time (she is retired), she doesn't like to drive (even if FB's dad is driving). She is 62 years old, in generally good health, without any major physical limitations, and with ample financial resources. I know that it hurts FB's feelings to have her turn down his invitations again and again, but she seems unable to perceive his disappointment.
Two days ago, one of her last surviving relatives died suddenly of a heart attack. I had only met him once (at my wedding), but he lived relatively close by. I emailed my condolences to my mother-in-law and told her that we would be happy to go with her to the funeral.
This morning, I got an email from her explaining that she couldn't possibly go the funeral because she does not travel in the winter.
On Sunday, when FB called to tell his parents our big news, I sat next to him on the couch to listen in. After he broke the news, and after his mother told him that she was very surprised to hear it, given the fact that our house is not suitable for a child, they talked about other things. One of the topics was my father-in-law's college reunion, which will take place in mid-October. I am currently a grad student at my father-in-law's alma mater, and we live a mile and a half from campus.
"Perfect!" FB said. If Snapdragon is born on time at the end of September, a mid-October visit would be perfect. They could come a little early, stay a little late, see Snapdragon in all his/her post-fetal glory, and go to the reunion as well.
"Oh, no," says FB's mother. "I'm not coming then. I don't want to go to the reunion."
Sometimes I get angry with her obstructionism, but I try to keep my anger in check because I don't know whether her behavior is a manifestation of selfishness or of mental illness. I know that she has panic attacks in situations where she finds herself in an unfamiliar situation, especially if it is noisy or crowded. She has some sort of anti-anxiety medication prescribed to her, but she is reluctant to take it. As far as I know, she does not get any regular monitoring or therapy for her anxiety.
She describes herself as a "worrier," but that term does not do justice to reality. For years, she would not allow her sons to fly on the same airplane. She broods endlessly over bad weather, carginogenic foods, and the imagined presence of radon in her home. One of my major fears about getting pregnant was that I would be inundated with articles about the latest danger that would cause my baby to be born without a nose.
But the traveling thing makes me angry. I am happy to drive to the VNW a few times every year, but that will not be enough for Snapdragon. You cannot cultivate a relationship with a child if you only see him/her on major holidays. It doesn't work like that.
Her decision not to visit us, despite having the time, money, and physical ability to do so, is hurtful, but we are adults and can get over it. But what about Snapdragon?
We generally visit the VNW two or three times a year: once in the summer, for a week and a half over Christmas, and sometimes for an incidental event (wedding, funeral, etc.). FB's dad comes to visit us in the spring, but in the three years we have lived here, his mom has only visited us twice (once for a single afternoon).
She always has an excuse for not coming to see us. She doesn't travel at all between November and April (the weather might be bad), she can't find the time (she is retired), she doesn't like to drive (even if FB's dad is driving). She is 62 years old, in generally good health, without any major physical limitations, and with ample financial resources. I know that it hurts FB's feelings to have her turn down his invitations again and again, but she seems unable to perceive his disappointment.
Two days ago, one of her last surviving relatives died suddenly of a heart attack. I had only met him once (at my wedding), but he lived relatively close by. I emailed my condolences to my mother-in-law and told her that we would be happy to go with her to the funeral.
This morning, I got an email from her explaining that she couldn't possibly go the funeral because she does not travel in the winter.
On Sunday, when FB called to tell his parents our big news, I sat next to him on the couch to listen in. After he broke the news, and after his mother told him that she was very surprised to hear it, given the fact that our house is not suitable for a child, they talked about other things. One of the topics was my father-in-law's college reunion, which will take place in mid-October. I am currently a grad student at my father-in-law's alma mater, and we live a mile and a half from campus.
"Perfect!" FB said. If Snapdragon is born on time at the end of September, a mid-October visit would be perfect. They could come a little early, stay a little late, see Snapdragon in all his/her post-fetal glory, and go to the reunion as well.
"Oh, no," says FB's mother. "I'm not coming then. I don't want to go to the reunion."
Sometimes I get angry with her obstructionism, but I try to keep my anger in check because I don't know whether her behavior is a manifestation of selfishness or of mental illness. I know that she has panic attacks in situations where she finds herself in an unfamiliar situation, especially if it is noisy or crowded. She has some sort of anti-anxiety medication prescribed to her, but she is reluctant to take it. As far as I know, she does not get any regular monitoring or therapy for her anxiety.
She describes herself as a "worrier," but that term does not do justice to reality. For years, she would not allow her sons to fly on the same airplane. She broods endlessly over bad weather, carginogenic foods, and the imagined presence of radon in her home. One of my major fears about getting pregnant was that I would be inundated with articles about the latest danger that would cause my baby to be born without a nose.
But the traveling thing makes me angry. I am happy to drive to the VNW a few times every year, but that will not be enough for Snapdragon. You cannot cultivate a relationship with a child if you only see him/her on major holidays. It doesn't work like that.
Her decision not to visit us, despite having the time, money, and physical ability to do so, is hurtful, but we are adults and can get over it. But what about Snapdragon?
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